Blog – Hope Breathes

White Privilege in South Africa

June 17, 2017June 18, 2017Paul Comment

We are grateful to Thabo for sharing his perspective on white privilege in South Africa. Thabo is a thoughtful and committed friend, to [...]

Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

May 29, 2017

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[…] I read Jenni’s writing I reflected back to our wedding and the decisions we made without thinking about the patriarchal […]

Lisa stewart - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

I agree with all of this- and it's all very "live" for me as we are getting married in less than a year. We agreed together to get engaged and spent a wonderful day choosing a ring together- but many friends don't understand and one went so far as to tell me she feels sorry for me because my feminism ruins things for me!! We are planning to have both sets of both parents walk us down the aisle. That way it's gender balanced and they're all part of the ceremony - but we won't be calling it "giving away". My sister has a speech alongside the best man. I remain perplexed about my name. Double barrelling feels awkward, and I wish we could mesh but our names don't work easily. None of the available options feels quite right. In summary- these questions are at the top of mind in my wedding planning! Thank you for writing a post that articulates them so well.

suzi - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

good thoughts Jenni- I did so enjoy your wedding, and I love how much you've thought about these issues, they're not just abstract. I think equity in speech giving is fab, some of my favourite weddings have had bride speeches. I'd love to hear one start by bending the traditional 'on behalf of my wife and I', because I do have to admit that I love that moment in the speeches.

Alison - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

I agree with most of these points. And probably felt more strongly 35 years ago when I was married. But back then the parents (in our case all four) paid for the wedding, and pretty much ran the show. And we don't want to disrespect or offend our parents when we love them. I think it would be lovely to perhaps have both sets of parents following the bride up the aisle to show their support. Or the groom then the bride!

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