Literary Mentors

A Taste of Home

April 20, 2017April 20, 2017Debbie Comment

In our last few hours in South Africa, I found myself standing at the hob cooking brunch for our crew of well-wishers. I [...]

Deconstruction & Doubts

January 8, 2017January 8, 2017Debbie 4

Saying the word Doubt out loud to a friend brought tears with it, but also relief. I finally turned to face the thoughts [...]

Sparks & Stories

November 2, 2016November 2, 2016Debbie 8

‘Obviously none of you are here from a sense of calling are you?’ the lecturer asked rhetorically. I wasn’t brave enough to speak [...]

Subversive Vocation

June 16, 2016October 16, 2016Paul Comment

This year I’ve been reflecting on the idea of vocation. The importance of doing something in your everyday that is life-giving to both [...]

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March 1, 2015

Contemplation: 5 Ways to Breathe in

October 14, 2016

Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

May 29, 2017

White Privilege in South Africa – Hope Breathes - Unpacking Privilege

[…] Introduction: Unpacking Privilege […]

Unpacking Privilege – Gender – Hope Breathes - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

[…] I read Jenni’s writing I reflected back to our wedding and the decisions we made without thinking about the patriarchal […]

Lisa stewart - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

I agree with all of this- and it's all very "live" for me as we are getting married in less than a year. We agreed together to get engaged and spent a wonderful day choosing a ring together- but many friends don't understand and one went so far as to tell me she feels sorry for me because my feminism ruins things for me!! We are planning to have both sets of both parents walk us down the aisle. That way it's gender balanced and they're all part of the ceremony - but we won't be calling it "giving away". My sister has a speech alongside the best man. I remain perplexed about my name. Double barrelling feels awkward, and I wish we could mesh but our names don't work easily. None of the available options feels quite right. In summary- these questions are at the top of mind in my wedding planning! Thank you for writing a post that articulates them so well.

suzi - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

good thoughts Jenni- I did so enjoy your wedding, and I love how much you've thought about these issues, they're not just abstract. I think equity in speech giving is fab, some of my favourite weddings have had bride speeches. I'd love to hear one start by bending the traditional 'on behalf of my wife and I', because I do have to admit that I love that moment in the speeches.

Alison - Thoughts on Privilege, Gender and Weddings

I agree with most of these points. And probably felt more strongly 35 years ago when I was married. But back then the parents (in our case all four) paid for the wedding, and pretty much ran the show. And we don't want to disrespect or offend our parents when we love them. I think it would be lovely to perhaps have both sets of parents following the bride up the aisle to show their support. Or the groom then the bride!

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Hope Breathes

Hope Breathes